


We’re falling apart and you’re letting us

by Kittypurplebling



Series: What could’ve been [1]
Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Chapter 6: Beaver Hollow (Red Dead Redemption 2), Heavy Angst, I changed the ending, M/M, Multi, Oops, Post-Chapter 6: Beaver Hollow (Red Dead Redemption 2), i think i made it worse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25640431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittypurplebling/pseuds/Kittypurplebling
Summary: They were perfect for each other.They completed each other.And they broke each other down.Down and down again until there was nothing left to break.Because truth is, they were never meant for each other.
Relationships: Arthur Morgan/Charles Smith, Javier Escuella/Arthur Morgan, Javier Escuella/Arthur Morgan/Charles Smith, Javier Escuella/Charles Smith
Series: What could’ve been [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858744
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	We’re falling apart and you’re letting us

**Author's Note:**

> I was in an angsty mood and I love these three characters....so why not write about them?

Some folk would’ve called it weird, some odd or unique and some would’ve said it was beautiful; as rare as it seems. But their relationship was built on trust, unconditional love for each other, respect and complete acceptance of one another, flaws and all without judgement. Or so they thought.

Charles was the first one to have noticed, being as observant as he is, it can sometimes be a drawback. Javier was more tense than usual, jumpy at every loud noise he heard, especially after the Saint-Denis bank job and Guarma. It was... painful to watch the one he loved to be so terrified that every moment could be their last and he couldn’t do anything about it. Because Javier wouldn't let him, wouldn’t let them. And it hurt knowing there was nothing they can do to bring Javier down from the constant apprehension he seems to have.

Yet, there was also something else, something that had strained their relationship that took months to build. Which was Javier's trust in them, wavering ever so slightly in every argument they had between each other. Charles saw it and Arthur did too. 

However, Arthur was more worried about where Javier’s loyalty lied. He was loyal to Dutch, trusted him even, but even he knows something was wrong with Dutch and he has been with him for over twenty years. Everything was starting to get more chaotic job after job, and Arthur was getting the uncanny feeling like something was ultimately wrong with how Dutch had been planning things. Especially when Micah was around to do the thinking.

Of course, Arthur had thought that Javier’s sudden change in attitude was just going to last for a short period of time yet even he hadn’t expected the sudden brash and cold tone that replaced Javier's usually soft and gentle one. And unexpectedly, the once strong relationship they had turned sour. From three to two, it had destroyed both Arthur and Charles expectation to their once loving bond. And it _hurt_ , boy, did it hurt to see Javier change like that. It was like a piece of them was missing, ripped from their hearts, aching at the loss. 

But for Javier, it was no different, because for him it felt like he was being betrayed by the two men he loved, anger and sadness washing over him like a tidal wave. They didn’t seem to believe his words like he was talking crazy, all they had to do was listen and obey Dutch like they always had, why are they doubting him now? To makes matters worse, he now realized Charles’s possession and bedroll was missing and he instantly felt dread and anger boil in him.

When he went to ask Arthur of Charles whereabouts and as to why he left, he just got a shrug from the older man and then he walked off, like Charles leaving wasn’t something to be surprised off or mad over. It felt like Javier was being stabbed over and over and over again like a dagger had just been plunged into his chest and he couldn’t breathe. Then a sudden thought came to mind; was this what Arthur felt after every cough? Javier had noticed the other man’s not so subtle coughing and how he was starting to look more sickly like a dead man walking. And now he just feels guilty, well... He would feel guilty if it wasn’t for the anger overlapping the remorse.

How dare they go behind his back, he had trusted them with all his heart and now they can’t even trust him? Javier was devastated at the sudden change in their relationship and Charles leaving just broke it down to pieces, nobody there to pick it back up and glue it back together. Sure, everything was going bad but he had to have some faith towards their leader, the same man who had saved him and given him a home those many years ago. The same thing he did for most of the gang, gave them a life they deserved. Or that’s what he told himself but after half the gang leaving, well, he didn’t know what to believe anymore.

Then, Javier tried considering Arthur’s words and Charles’s, watching Dutch with a close eye. Yet he can't help but feel like he’d be betraying Dutch in some way, how odd of him to think that. Somewhere, deep down, he knew something was up with Dutch but just couldn’t bring himself to admit it or maybe he was just too scared of actually knowing the truth. Nonetheless, Javier didn’t feel... right when standing at Dutch’s side, watching as Arthur and John both pointed their guns at them. Susan’s wails slowly turning quiet as the air grew tenser with every word spoken from Arthur; implying that Micah was the rat. And for the first time in a long while, Javier now knew what to believe; and it was Arthur.

The Mexican’s steps faltered as he slowly lowered his gun, both Micah and Dutch - _especially_ Dutch - had looked down on him with fury.

”Javier what are you doing-” The leader said, one gun slowly manoeuvring itself towards the younger man, and Javier had to admit; it hurt a little. ”I trusted you, Javier! I thought you were loyal!”

”I-I thought I was too, Dutch. But- I-” In all honesty, Javier had no idea what to say, so he kept quiet and moved towards Arthur and John when Bill unexpectedly came rushing back in camp to announce that Pinkertons were close. Only then did Bill examine the situation, quickly but clumsily pulling out a gun to aim at the so-called traitors. But before any words were spoken to maybe deteriorate the situation, gunshots flew across the camp, hitting a few lanterns which caused it to explode and catch on fire.

The three of them had taken cover behind crates that were left in camp before making their escape through the cave, Javier way behind in order to protect them since John had been shot and Arthur was weakened by this sickness that Javier knew absolutely nothing about. It had saddened him, the thought, but there was no time to lose. Arthur climbed the ladder first then John, then Javier following suite.

What happened next was a blur for Javier, maybe, even more, dissociating for Arthur. Adrenaline filled and on the run, they had decided to abandon their horses after Arthur’s steed got shot. The older man had stayed for a few minutes with his mount, talking too softly for both men to hear but they knew he was mourning her, for the time they had left. 

As they grew closer to the mountain top, shooting down the Pinkertons that had shot their way, they made it to a slightly secluded area from the outsider's view as Arthur came to a pause. He looked at them with sad eyes that held immense determination, but for what exactly? Javier had no idea.

”Go, I’ll hold them off.”

”Arthur!” John protested.

”Abigail and Jack are at Cumberland forest, Javier you go with John.”

”No, no I can’t leave you, pendejo!” Javier retorted, earning him a sharp glare from the older man.

”Yes you can Javier. Charles left to the wapiti reservation if you ever need him.”

”Arthur-”

”Go, Javier! Please, let me do this for you! Both of you!” Arthur shouted, both men flinching at the sudden change of tone. Javier just brought his lips towards Arthur’s, gently pressing. It didn’t last long nor was it too passionate but it was...nice. Though laced with many emotions; like grief, regret, sadness and so many more that were just too hard to explain in words. Then, he left, knowing it would’ve been the last time he’d see Arthur’s pretty face and deep greenish-blue eyes that looked like the comforts of the sea. 

He would never get to kiss him again, never get to feel him again. And it hurts so much, realizing it just now. But then a thought came to mind and suddenly he felt even more guilty then he ever has been. Charles might’ve been aware of Arthur sickness and maybe the mentions of death were brief but how was Javier supposed to tell Charles that Arthur was dead? Hell, will Arthur be dead?

Was Arthur dying? He doesn’t know because he wasn’t there during their last moments, because Javier was being too stubborn for his own good and believing and trusting the wrong people when he should’ve been with those that loved him. 

He pushed this awful thought aside, concentrating on not getting caught by any remaining Pinkertons or Dutch, so he mounted Boaz as fast as he can, separating with John once he sees the man descend from the mountain top. He had to get to Charles, had to tell him what transpired back at camp. Wapiti reservation shouldn’t be that far from where they were currently located but it will take time to find the right route since he had no maps on him whatsoever.

And with the Pinkertons and the recent gunfight, he tried his best to avoid any directions leading him to inevitable death. But it didn't take long until he came across some tents and people seemingly packing. He rushed off his horse, earning a little huff and whine from Boaz; He’d apologize later, with a treat maybe.

He had to find Charles, so he asked the around but they all just shrugged or were unaware of Charles’s whereabouts. Despite it all, Javier had tried searching the area when he stumbled upon a man who seemed... sad yet recognizable. Ah right, he showed up at Beaver hollow demanding for his son to avoid any conflict with the army, he remembers now. 

”Uh- excuse me? I’m sorry to bother you, sir, have you seen a man by the name of Charles Smith by any chance?” Javier asked.

”Ah, yes actually. But you will not find him here. He told me he had just left, I’m sorry.” Rains fall answered. ”What’s your name?”

”J-Javier, Javier Escuella.”

”Ah, Charles talks rather fondly of you and Arthur Morgan. I presume you are a friend of theirs?” Rains fall claimed.

Javier replied after a few seconds of silence. ”Yes, you could say that.” In all honesty, he had no idea what to think. Charles spoke of him, fondly. Which is something he finds odd yet it only helps worsen his mood as the immense guilt settles in.

”Well, you better go after him if that’s who you seek.” Javier looked at the Indian leader in confusion, processing the words only for it to confuse the Mexican even further.

”Charles, Mister Escuella.” Despite his name sounding a bit off coming from Rains fall mouth, he was quickly spurred into action, running towards his horse, shouting thanks at the leader as he approached closer to Boaz. Then, he was off, following the path where he just came from. He found it a bit unusual that he hadn’t noticed Charles when he passed. If he had left a few moments before Javier arrived, he would’ve passed him. In conclusion, Charles must’ve taken a different route. 

Why exactly? Yeah, Javier doesn’t entirely know or maybe it’s just not his business, not anymore anyway.

He pushed Boaz into a gallop, urging him to go faster by the minute. Javier knows he’s straining his horse but as much as he loves the mount, he needs to find Charles.

But something made him stop, something that made his heart drop to his stomach. Birds scatter from the trees to beeline towards the sky, the sound of flapping wings echoed throughout the atmosphere yet it was silenced by the sound of screaming. It sounded so familiar yet unrecognisable. And _oh God,_ that was Charles...

Then it was silent, so silent that it was deafening.

He obliged the steed of his to push to its limit, Javier wasting not another minute just standing there whilst a man he loved so dearly but neglected him these past months was suffering.

He was so close yet so _far_. And he knew he was too late.

He knew he was too _late_ ,

_ And there was nothing he could do about it. _

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this fic, I might be doing a second chapter. Not sure yet.
> 
> But I hope you have a wonderful day and until next time! :D


End file.
